Idorenyin and I have been marriage counsellors for as long as we have been married. You will think that we were married for this, like ‘made for this’. If you got my attempt to rhyme, thank you.
We have spent countless hours with couples at different stages of the love walk – ‘boy meets girl’, ‘we want to get married’, ‘we are now married’, ‘we are not getting along’, ‘we are not doing again’. Each of these stages come with a different type of conversation, so we have had many diverse conversations. We have shared the role that love, commitment, prayer, similar values, fear of God amongst other plays in making a marriage work. I don’t recall us specifically adding ‘wisdom’ to that list. I guess maybe it sounds very intellectual to think of marriage that is filled with so many emotions being the zone of wisdom but it is.
As I read the book of Proverbs 14, verse 1 stopped me in my tracks – “a wise woman builds her home”. I didn’t bother with what a foolish woman does, I wasn’t interested. It hit me that wisdom is required for a good marriage, a whole lot of wisdom. The Bible tells us that “wisdom is the principal thing” and in all our getting we should get wisdom. To everyone who is getting married or married, my simple advice to you – please open the door and let wisdom in. You need it even more than love, yes I said it. People are falling in and out of love but wise men and women remain wise in their dealings. Trust me, if you have tasted wisdom, you will not be able to stand for foolishness.
As I finished reading Proverb 14 and went back to reflect on verse 1a, my pen began to flow. I present below the raw version of my thoughts on that scripture. I pray that you are blessed as I open a window and let you peep into my thoughts…………..
Proverbs 14:1a – “A wise woman builds her home.“
Such a loaded verse that implies that wisdom is a critical component of a marriage and home that works.
We talk a lot about love and commitment as key ingredients, but I don’t hear a lot about wisdom. Wisdom is as important as love.
It takes wisdom to know that marriage is serious enough for the decision to be made wisely.
It takes wisdom to know the right conversations to have with your spouse before marriage so that you can decide if it will work.
It takes wisdom to know how to manage the different relationships that are birth as a result of your marriage.
It takes wisdom to know what to say and do per time.
It takes wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet.
It takes wisdom to plan and save for your future.
It takes wisdom for two to become one flesh.
It takes wisdom to know where, when and how to build – the wise build on the rock (firm foundation) while the foolish build on the sand(faulty foundation).
So from one married couple to millions out there, married or about to be; we echo the words of proverbs – In all your getting, Get Wisdom!
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