Idorenyin and I have been marriage counsellors for as long as we have been married. You will think that we were married for this, like ‘made for this’. If you got my attempt to rhyme, thank you.
We have spent countless hours with couples at different stages of the love walk – ‘boy meets girl’, ‘we want to get married’, ‘we are now married’, ‘we are not getting along’, ‘we are not doing again’. Each of these stages come with a different type of conversation, so we have had many diverse conversations. We have shared the role that love, commitment, prayer, similar values, fear of God amongst other plays in making a marriage work. I don’t recall us specifically adding ‘wisdom’ to that list. I guess maybe it sounds very intellectual to think of marriage that is filled with so many emotions being the zone of wisdom but it is.
As I read the book of Proverbs 14, verse 1 stopped me in my tracks – “a wise woman builds her home”. I didn’t bother with what a foolish woman does, I wasn’t interested. It hit me that wisdom is required for a good marriage, a whole lot of wisdom. The Bible tells us that “wisdom is the principal thing” and in all our getting we should get wisdom. To everyone who is getting married or married, my simple advice to you – please open the door and let wisdom in. You need it even more than love, yes I said it. People are falling in and out of love but wise men and women remain wise in their dealings. Trust me, if you have tasted wisdom, you will not be able to stand for foolishness.
As I finished reading Proverb 14 and went back to reflect on verse 1a, my pen began to flow. I present below the raw version of my thoughts on that scripture. I pray that you are blessed as I open a window and let you peep into my thoughts…………..
Proverbs 14:1a – “A wise woman builds her home.“
Such a loaded verse that implies that wisdom is a critical component of a marriage and home that works.
We talk a lot about love and commitment as key ingredients, but I don’t hear a lot about wisdom. Wisdom is as important as love.
It takes wisdom to know that marriage is serious enough for the decision to be made wisely.
It takes wisdom to know the right conversations to have with your spouse before marriage so that you can decide if it will work.
It takes wisdom to know how to manage the different relationships that are birth as a result of your marriage.
It takes wisdom to know what to say and do per time.
It takes wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet.
It takes wisdom to plan and save for your future.
It takes wisdom for two to become one flesh.
It takes wisdom to know where, when and how to build – the wise build on the rock (firm foundation) while the foolish build on the sand(faulty foundation).
So from one married couple to millions out there, married or about to be; we echo the words of proverbs – In all your getting, Get Wisdom!
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Wisdom can’t be over emphasised.At every point of our lives We need wisdom to be able to make wise decisions.
Lord we look to you for your spirit of wisdom.
Really worth the read. One thing I have learnt in life that has become my guiding principle is that no matter the decision I have to make or wherever life takes me…be it my marriage, relationship, career or academic journey to mention a few. Wisdom is the principle thing. Therefore, ask God who gives it so liberally and ungrudingly. When seeking God’s guidance and divine direction, we need to ask God for His Wisdom. When it comes to discernment of the spirit and sensitivity, ask God for Wisdom. When it comes to building a home that last, ask God of wisdom. When it comes to healing from a heartbreak, ask God for wisdom. Basically, wisdom is a vital ingredient that should never be taken for granted. Father, give us more grace to be wise in building our homes.
Thanks L&B for the constant reminder of what really matters.
In trying to reflect on the referenced passage, it is interesting to see the wise woman elevated as being the principal builder of the home. While this does not mean the men are permitted to be foolish, I think it does mean that the bible tends to emphasize roles in the marriage. There are primary roles for the man and primary roles for the woman. Many aspects of biblical wisdom are being challenged and rejected by the post-modernist society which in this scenario specifically hurt God’s intention for the way the family should function. We need God’s grace to stay with the wisdom of God and not adapt the ways of the ever-changing culture.
Been away for 2weeks now. Feels so good to be back home.
Yes, wisdom is worth finding!
I agree fully with the prov.14vs 1a. I remembered years back in my university days, we were taught philosophy and logic, and one of the topics then was ” nuggets of wisdom “. That was when I knew that this wisdom is a serious matter.
Generally in life, wisdom is needed to make certain decisions. In the absence of it, there will be “had I known”. My prayer this morning is
Oh Lord please :
I need more wisdom like oxygen to survive, grant me more of you because you are the WISDOM of God.
Thank you my Pastors. God bless you and reward your labour of love .