About a year into our marriage, we had dinner at my dad’s house with one of his friends. As we were saying our goodbyes after dinner, my dad’s friend suddenly exclaimed, “Ido!”. He went on to say, “make sure you listen to this woman that God has given to you, she will save you from a lot of things”. He repeated the statement while holding his ears like most Nigerian elders will do when emphasizing the importance of what is been said. He went on to tell us a story of how a simple word of advice from his wife, which he reluctantly adhered to, saved him from a potential fraud and embezzlement case. This case had the potential of destroying his career. I held unto that advice and it has been instrumental in our relationship especially our decision-making process.
Whenever I get a chance to speak to other men, I always emphasize how blessed we are to go through life’s journey with our wives coming alongside us. I don’t think it makes any sense for a husband to plan anything major or serious in any facet of life without his wife’s input. No matter the level of education, every woman possesses a certain ability to discern, some call it a gut feeling, intuition or a sixth sense. While men tend to see things in black and white; women see beyond black and white. If you observe your relationship with your mother, you find that there were times when she just knew something and you always wondered how she knew. Women are blessed that way, purposefully outfitted for their invaluable role as wives and mothers. Proverbs 31 describes the husband of such a gifted woman as one who is praised at the city gates.
In the Bible, women are asked to submit to their own husband. This simple instruction has become quite controversial and often misunderstood. Submission in a way is saying ‘here to help’.
It is accepting that order is typical of every human institution and marriage is not any different. Submission does not make the wife inferior to her husband because when you look at other relationships, the deputy is as capable as the lead and able to step in to cover absences. Submission is acknowledging that we have different roles and accountabilities with each person focusing on bringing their best to make the marriage work. As Christians, we tend not to get embroiled in unnecessary arguments, because obeying God’s word has always made life easier for us. It is no different in the area of loving and submitting within the confines of our marriage.
Submission simply means recognising and understanding the God-ordained structure for order in marriage.
- Submission means knowing that the husband is the head of the home and as long as I choose to marry him, I choose to come under his authority. It is very important when deciding to get married, to choose someone that you are willing to submit to in the different seasons that life may throw at you(topic for another post). Someone who you trust to act in the best interest of your family unit in your presence or absence.
- Submission means recognizing that the man you have decided to go through life’s journey with, has the wisdom to lead the home.
In saying, ‘I do’, the husband commits to unconditionally loving his wife and the wife commits to unconditionally submit and respect her husband – this decision should not be taken lightly.
A good understanding of Love and Submission creates a fine blend and makes the marriage walk a smooth one.
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